Not Mine Not Yours

For the boheme inclined…

Prime force of Creation

“She had red curls piled on the crown of her head, a wide messy bun ragged and wispy. Full of woeful bliss and tales of polarising extremes. Once fine lace now tattered, clinging scarcely to the seams and trimmings of her deep burgundy dress, in the same way that she clung to the remnants of a life she was hurled from so unceremoniously. A rich brocade that she could trace the twists and turns of her life upon with trembling fingers. 

He had found her in the street near dead, he took her in and gave her a home like she had never known before. He saved her. There were years of happiness and healing and growing and loving, she put her past in the past and let go, surrendered into his provision. They had created a family, an empire, a legacy. But it was one she would lament the devastating loss of. How could he pivot on a dime and abandon her so unexpectedly? And now she found herself once again, on that corner beside the arch in the market square, looking for the ‘john’ that would see her through to her next meal. 

Cold and nothing but a shadow of her former self. Abhorrent with herself for trusting in the miracle of this man, truly a gift from God. How could she have known what was to have transpired in the long years since the universe favoured her so fleetingly? From the depths of depravity, raped and beaten – she had transformed from Siren to Socialite and back to the impoverished beginnings she rose from. A life full circle, short and traumatic. Pockets of bliss and ease – even lavishness, and dingy dark corners of pain and subjugation.  

As i sit and get the feeling of her at the moment of her death I can see how the trauma & shock culminated in a deep mistrust of life itself, manifesting into the lack of trust in anything, everything. Into a pattern of abuse. Into a fear of prosperity and success. Into the fear of being utterly abandoned again and again.  As her consciousness leaves her broken bones behind I am now able to be there to comfort and soothe her. To forgive her as she forgives me, for time is not truely linear. 

Her ultimate fear of separation is allayed as she contracts from the shell, expands into the wholeness. Ascending into the larger part of herself knowing all is One & her truest self the infinite limitlessness of I AM. 

If One’s Highest Self has fingers and dips all her fingers into the water at once – beyond all space and time – the parallel dimensions and countless lives, represented as One’s fingers, is simply a multitude of diverse expressions of the One’s Highest Self. Now imagine One’s Highest Self has 7billion fingers… all in the water at once! We are but a fractal. All of us have ONE common Highest Self. All of us are the I AM. The God Head, all that exists past, present and future. The nature of this Divine consciousness is pure innocence. The purest form of love – beyond any modern definition of the word. So I AM a finger(!), a tiny tendril of pure love, the tip of the capillary, the blood barrier, the connective tissue of the leading edge of evolution, playing on the frontiers of creation. 

Love only expands. Instantly it consumes ALL. Pure love loves life itself completely and so is self perpetuating. No judgement, no separation exists in love’s nature. As I feel the spark of that love within me each day I affirm my trust in Source. And if the woman with the red curls was able to be soothed, feeling that pure love infuse her entirely at the moment of her sacred yet brutal death, even at the end of a most traumatic as possible dip into the water – then how could that deep, connected feeling of grace be anything but the ultimate truth of all existence. 

If I can trust in my connection to that Source, then I can sure as hell trust the ME writing feverishly with raw fingers!

I am safe to trust my guidance.

I am safe to trust my intelligence.

I am safe to trust in Source.

I honour myself as a prime source of creation. 


Words and Image by Rachael Cannard

I journeyed into my soul with an incredible Priestess yesterday. An Intuitive guide by the name of Mitle Southey held exquisite space for me to uncover more layers of deeply embedded paradigms to be healed, cleared away so the chasm that remained could be replenished with unconditional love.

We journeyed through the Akashic Records, into deeply profound compartments of juicy fears and long distant memories of a life once lived. We delved into my chakras and Mitle was able to provide insight to a blind spot that has been veiled, disguised as a solid base, seemingly together yet truly only held up by a twig. I discovered how deeply mistrustful I have been of myself, of my ability to choose the right course of action, of my mistrust in life itself. With all this understanding I have long held of the Universal Laws, until now I have not been able to identify why things just didn’t add up, knowledge that I can now embody in true surrender to the Source of all that exists. Uncovering that mistrust, understanding how it was created within my essence and moving through that fear into forgiveness and love released a knot in my heart. I felt a distinct ping as the tension released and dissipated into a deeper level of freedom to move with ease.

As I integrate and ground the experience into a new illuminated perspective, I expect those patterns of fear will arise. With the new tools I have been given, new practices to massage those fears back to love, I now trust I have everything within me to ride the rising wave I feel is about to pick me up and rush me towards the path I was born to walk. I sense it’s there, I can’t articulate it yet though I deeply, completely accept and trust it will become powerfully clear in divine timing. As the muddied water settles I feel the lotus will bloom suddenly and beautifully.

***You can follow Mitle on Facebook with her private group of sisterhood Dare To Flourish or dive into her Podcast. I highly recommend her guidance and healing for anyone walking the path out of fear and into love, to stand powerfully in their souls purpose and service to life.   

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